Saturday, 13 September 2014

Family: Being a Teenage Mum

My thoughts on being a teenage mum:

In the picture above, I'm not a teenager, however I didn't want to post a picture of William any younger. The picture was taken a year and a half ago.

Although I'm no longer a teenage mum, I was only 18 when I gave birth to William. They say that it wouldn't have mattered 'back in the day' but these days it's pretty much frowned upon and people judge so easily without knowing the full story.
When I got pregnant, some people said I was only doing it to get my ex back (which is ridiculous. See this post here). Others would say that I was only doing it for the benefits and the free house (also ridiculous).
For me, getting pregnant at such a young age was hard. I stayed in a hostel for about 4 months before the council put me in a house. I had no college education and no job, and was pretty much poor. Every bit of money that I had went straight on William which meant that my needs were neglected. I lost a lot of weight very quickly due to this and I decided that I needed to get my life together if I was to give William any sort of future.
I knew that I didn't want to stay in a council house as I felt that it wasn't somewhere that I could call home. It was a spacious two bedroom house but too large for me to maintain on my own. I knew I wanted out.
I decided to go back to college and get some sort of degree. William attended the creche that the college provided and he soon became a happy little boy surrounded by friends. I'll be honest, it was nice for someone to take him off my hands for a few hours a day. It meant that I could have 'normal' conversations and discuss topics that didn't involve nappy changes.

I'll be honest, as I didn't have a lot of money I used to dress like a scruff, so I don't blame others for judging me. People close to me thought I was on drugs (I wasn't) and others thought that I found other ways to make money, if you know what I mean (also not true). I hated people for judging me yet couldn't blame them for the way I looked. It was a horrible feeling standing at the front of the bus with a pram, looking like I was a lot younger than I was, knowing everyone behind me was judging me for how I dressed and what I was doing with my life.

I vowed to make them all regret judging me that way.

Before I met Mike, I struggled to cope living on my own and raising a little boy. With no job and only benefits as income I was depressed. The first months when it was just William and myself, I would cry myself to sleep and wonder why I ever let my ex into my life. I used to think what it would be like to be like all the other teenagers in my college class. Then I'd look at William and feel guilty for the thoughts that I had.
I was in a very dark place and it wasn't until William was 11 months old that Mike and I started a relationship. He got on so well with William right from the beginning. He'd stay over all the time and do the night feeds, he'd help me out with food shopping and even changed nappies.
Back in my depressed days I saw him as the light that saved me. He brought me out of that horrible black hole that I was in and made me a better person. I got off my arse and did something with my life.
I finished college with top marks and was awarded a scholarship at Liverpool John Moores University. I'm now in my third year and hope to graduate in summer.
I have a stable job, I privately rent an apartment with Mike and I run my own company. William is as happy and as healthy as ever and has just started Reception class.

Even today people still look down their noses at me as if I was dirt, but I brush it off because I'm extremely happy with my life and the direction it's going in. I understand that people have their opinions of me but I know not to listen to the negativity or it will only bring me down.

Please don't judge others before you know the full story. There's a lot more to the situation than what you see and your actions could have severe consequences.


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9 comments

  1. It's awful that people judged you before knowing what you were going through. My sister was a teen mum who also brought Dafydd up on her own until she met her other half. She would always say that as long as her son had everything he needed, she was happy but it always made me sad that she could never treat herself to anything. Not many people share their struggles but it's such a good thing to do as it could help someone who is in the similar situation to you. I'm glad your in a much better place now (: xx

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  2. Callie, you are a brave, brave woman, after all these negative things that happened in your life, you deserve to be happy. Don't let people take you down! My mum was also a teenage mum, and now I'm 17, and she says I'm the best thing that ever happened in her life. Do what makes you happy and don't worry about others opinion xx

    Rose

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  3. It's awful that people judged you but good on you for pulling through! William's lucky to have a loving mum with such a good head on her shoulders :) Good luck with your last year of uni!
    Megan x
    London Callings

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  4. i am so happy you have a happy ending and a beautiful family! thanks for sharing the story, noone should ever be judged like that and you've certainly shown them how wrong they were!

    x

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  5. I want you to know that you are beautiful, inside and out. Your stronger now than you will ever be and it's because of this - because of all that you have been through. I want to say I know how you feel because parts of your story are similar to mine - but I can't. I don't have the joy of a little boy, a little boy who makes you proud and most of all you make him proud. You'll be in my thoughts tonight, take care (Shannon) xx

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  6. Such an inspirational story - just proves that anything is possible when you put your mind to it! Proud of you :D

    Becky xox // GeekGetsGlam

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  7. I think you're brilliant for bringing up a lovely, healthy child from a young age. Teenage mums do get judged pretty badly a lot of the time, but I don't think age matters at all. You went through a bit of a tough time when he was born, but you picked yourself up and made a good home for him - that's the important thing!

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  8. Wow what an inspiring post! You've done so well in such a short amount of time and how cute is your little boy!

    Cat from Outside Beauty Inside Health

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  9. It is really brave of you to write this and I totally admire you for it. You have dontit all by yourself and I hope that if anything likes this happens to me I can do as well as you have!


    http://whatmaisiedid.blogspot.co.uk/

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